What i learned from renata
In 1992, after graduating from BYU with a masters degree in organizational behavior and double major in International Relations and Family Living, I took a job at the 5th largest university in the former Soviet Union. My sponsoring professor was a true Soviet Dissident and one of the wisest people I have ever met. Renata was a poet and author of children’s books. She was also a great storyteller who weaved her life experiences and observations in the most fascinating way. I would sit in her kitchen and think how lucky I was to listen to her. For me, they were truly life changing.
In her 20’s, since Renata was pretty and spoke English well, the KGB tried to recruit her to sleep with foreigners so the KGB could gather information told to a lover or use compromising photos to blackmail national secrets out of. When Renata refused so began her life-long trouble with the KGB. Within a few days, she lost her job at a TV station teaching English over the air, as well as her respected job at the university. No reason was ever given . . . she was simply canceled and had to survive for a year by friends secretly dropping money in places only she could find. In addition, Renata was Jewish and so experienced additional forms of discrimination. Although one of the most talented people I’ve met, she received her degrees and honors years after she should have.
Renata taught me about the difficulty of living in two different realities as the human mind was not meant for it. Despite the bliss described by Soviet propaganda, Renata knew of the ugliness of communisms. Both her husband's parents had been sent to the Gulags. She knew of the outside world by secretly reading bootlegged western books and listening to Radio Free Europe and Voice of America. (I’m embarrassed to say that the first time I read Animal Farm and 1984 was in her home reading her copies. She would have gone to prison had she been caught with the books just two years earlier. I’m not sure if it says more about me or a political science department at BYU that didn’t require such reading of classics or our public education systems. It was surreal to read them while in the country they had meant to mock).
Renata knew that much of the history and facts that she was being told were nothing more than the fantasy of an authoritative state. It was simply propaganda. Yet, she had to live, function, and survive in that reality which is never easy. In public, her life depended on pretending it was real - the consequences of not could be life-changing. She said that unfortunately, those that see the world as it actually is, often face depression because of the constant cognitive dissonance. While mental institutions were often used for punishment for political reasons like when my friend from Ethiopia was sent for refusing to sing songs about Lenin in college, a genuine need existed for those that couldn’t handle the two different realities.
While I’ve gotten used to living in the two different realities in varying degrees ever since my experiences in Eastern Europe, I’ve unfortunately seen many of my friends struggle over the last few years because of the growing disparate realities. Our nation's and state's Covid 19 response has only aggravated it . Political leaders and teacher Unions seem to live in one reality, and parents and business owners seem to live in another. Business owners have unscientific and often unconstitutional restrictions place on them that threatened their livelihood. Despite 100,000s of small businesses going out of business, the business owners who are brave enough to complain, are viewed as the problem, not the policies that put them out of business. They are accused of living in the alternative reality or under the influence of the cult of Trump, not the politicians whose income has remained the same or the special interest who have seen their income soar.
The parents that have not only seen dramatic changes to their children’s learning but also their psyche, are viewed as the problem because they supposedly don't see the world as it really is. Rather than admitting that children are being hurt and $75,000 donations to Governor Cox was money well spent for the teacher unions, parents are the ones who are out of touch with reality.
Unfortunately, my experience is that these disparate realities are only going to get worse. For my sanity, I’ve found it helpful to point out the illogical realities and have these confirmed by others. In this world where we have purposely been divided, the worst thing is to allow our friends and family to believe that they are the only one to see the disparate realities or that they are going crazy. Remember, unity is only lasting, if we unify around the truth.
Where’s the Prozac when one needs some?